Here's an exhibit from the current show 'Mudlarks and the River Thames', which has just opened at the Museum of Miniature Found Objects. The clay tobacco pipe industry began in England in the 1570s, and until about 1650 London was where most of these pipes were made. 'Mudlarks and the River Thames' was given a triumphal opening by the Pipe Smokers' Guild of Great Britain, who gave their famous 'Fifty Meerschaum Salute'. This was particularly enjoyed by the Snake River Art Appreciation Society, Ohio, who were visiting the gallery at the time and many of whose members are enthusiastic pipe smokers.

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Found objects:

= fragment of barley sugar pipe stem: 1.15pm, Saturday 31 December, Custom House Quay, Lower Thames Street, central London;

= fragment of clay pipe stem: 11.43am, Wednesday 14 December 2011, Custom House Quay, Lower Thames Street, central London;
= pipe bowl: 11.48am, Wednesday 14 December 2011, Custom House Quay, Lower Thames Street, central London. 

On a recent trip to the Shetland Isles, the Education & Entertainments Committee of the Museum of Miniature Found Objects came across this striking sign on the Esplanade in Lerwick, Shetland's main town. Investigation by the committee revealed that the sign, on a former shoe shop, was used by the captain of the Aberdeen steamer to guide his vessel into dock, in the days before the new ferry terminal was built. However, the E&EC has subsequently been informed that this has not been substantiated, but delights in the tale nonetheless.

There were angry scenes at the Museum of Miniature Found Objects last night. Crowds had been gathering all day outside the museum in response to rumours that have been circulating in the past week. These rumours claim that the museum has forgeries on display, and name the Etruscan Lounge specifically. Tempers flared when the police were called, and there were a number of arrests after fist fights broke out between museum curators and members of the public. This scene, just before fighting broke out, was caught on camera by an onlooker. The crowd was finally dispersed in the early hours of the morning after a spokeswoman from the museum announced that the Serious Fraud Office will be conducting a full investigation into these allegations.

Hoxton doorway, London May 2010

The Museum of Miniature Found Objects has recently been investigating the Smythe-Pattinson system for exhibiting and cataloguing its ever growing collection. Rather than the more traditional method of ordering and displaying items by subject and chronological age, this revolutionary form organises collections around colour and smell. Those objects with no discernible odour are catalogued according to their colour, while those emitting a smell are itemised using the table of smells drawn up by Smythe-Pattinson. Along with this new system, the museum is looking at opening a series of 'smellorama' galleries, where visitors will be invited to use blindfolds to enjoy the exhibits to the full.

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Found Objects:

= coral earring: 8.59am, Saturday 4 February, Platform 5, Clapham Junction Station, south London;

= crucifix with bead: 12.34pm, Saturday 28 January, St Kilda Road, north London; 

= felt heart: 1.34pm, Thursday 24 May, Colombo Street, Christchurch, New Zealand; 

= hair clip: 6.04pm, Friday 22 June, Holloway Road, north London; 

= hair tie with bobbles: 9.48am, Wednesday 14 December 2011, Clarence Road, east London;

= Lego brick: 1.02pm, Friday 3 February,  Broad Lane, north London; 

= metal earring: 9.31am, Thursday 20 October, 2011, Woodberry Down, north London; 

= plastic heart: 11.11am, Saturday 28 May 2011, Lordship Terrace, north London; 

= plastic seal with silver t logo: 3.07pm, Tuesday 20 March, Brougham Road, east London.

The Museum of Miniature Found Objects is delighted to report the inaugural thé dansant went down a storm in the Palm Court Tea Rooms yesterday. Delighted visitors danced away the afternoon to the tuneful sounds of Rex Morello and His Mellow Tones, with the cha-cha-cha, waltz and foxtrot proving a great hit. Rex and his mellow men provided a charming selection of dance tunes, from the ever-popular Ivor Novello to Alma Bailey-Beltoy and Guy Lombardo, with continental charm provided by Maurice Flambée. Gloria Rocquefort and Raymond Trumpington's fine footwork during an especially racy tango drew all eyes. The band’s rendition of Bob Tanner and His Skillet Lickers' toe-tapping 'Turkey in the Straw' brought the afternoon to a thunderous finish. Tea and fancy cakes were served.

Further thé dansants are planned for the coming months, and tickets are available at Miss Parchington's École de Danse, and also from the Museum Gift Shop.