The Museum of Miniature Found Objects regrets to announce a temporary closure. It's suspected the recent fire in the Smoking Cubicle has damaged the newly discovered fifteenth-century mural in the Palm Court Tea Rooms. The MMFO has been communicating daily with the Department for Historic England, and is happy to report their expert team of conservators will be arriving shortly to begin the restoration work required. Despite these unfortunate circumstances, the museum would like to wish all its visitors a merry Christmas and a happy New Year.

*Please note, the Museum of Miniature Found Objects would like to apologise on behalf of the Musée du Bricolage. Last week's statement regarding their recent display was not intended to denigrate in any way the great sacrifices made by the men and women of the French and British armed forces on behalf of their countries. Both the MMFO and the MdB apologise unreservedly to l'Association des Combattants de la Seconde Guerre Mondiale and the British Union of Military Veterans for any offence caused by last week's apology.

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Found objects:

= clear plastic baubles: 2.34pm, Tuesday 14 August 2018, women's changing rooms, Highbury Pool, north London;
= goggles: 9.14am, Saturday 20 October 2018, Queen Elizabeth's Walk, north London;
= pink plastic butterfly: 3.30pm, Friday 25 November 2011, Church Path, Highbury Fields, north London;

On behalf of the Musée du Bricolage, the Museum of Miniature Found Objects has issued the following statement: "We apologise for any offence caused to members of the public as a result of the display Tous les mercredis in the Rodchenko Foyer. We would like to assure visitors that it was never our intention to glorify war and violence. The Musée du Bricolage works actively to promote the use of power tools as a means for peaceful protest against human rights violations and to break down barriers between nations." 

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Found objects:

= green plastic bullet casing: 2.31pm, Friday 30 November 2018, midway between Dillay Farm and Down Park Farm, Gloucestershire;
= peace symbol bead: 10.47am, Tuesday 8 June 2010, Mackenzie Road, north London;
= plastic moustaches: 3:16pm, Monday 10 December 2018, Hay's Galleria, Battle Bridge Lane, London Bridge;
= silvered plastic stars: 10.25am, Friday 29 July 2013, Lyne Crescent, east London.

On Sunday morning the London Fire Brigade was called to the Museum of Miniature Found Objects. Raoul Théière (Curator of Body Parts) noticed smoke in the vicinity of the Palm Court Tea Rooms, when directing a tour party to the Sturm und Drang Galleries. Unfortunately fire had broken out in the nearby Smoking Cubicle.* Théière, thinking on his feet, snatched an assortment of miniature legs from the collection (mainly Bakelite and cork) and, quickly constructing a crude frame to which he attached these additional legs, was able to stamp on the flames with not just his own feet, but with a multitude of limbs, and thus prevent the fire from spreading further. The LFB commended him on his quick thinking. Above is a reconstruction of the dramatic event.

*Please note, smoking is currently banned in the Smoking Cubicle.

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Found objects:

= plastic soldiers: 4.47pm, Wednesday 24 July 2013, Thames Path (south), under Lambeth Bridge, London.

The astonishing discovery of the Anti-Forgery Auto Compactor's ability to promote hair regrowth in those experiencing baldness has led to large numbers of enquiries at the Museum of Miniature Found Objects. In view of this, the MMFO is currently revising its schedule to enable visitors to benefit from both the AFAC's facilities. On Mondays, Wednesday and Fridays, the AFAC is available for hair regrowth treatment, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays, for miniaturisation of found objects.* The apprentice curator (Hedwig Peeves, above) who was instrumental in the discovery after falling into the AFAC during a demonstration to museum visitors, has reported he's "delighted with my lovely new barnet," and currently has no plans to visit a barber.

*Please note, charges will apply for use of the hair regrowth treatment. Also, where a miniaturised object is accepted by the MMFO for its collection, a payment will be made to the donor (see the musuem’s Schedule 302, Section 4: Payments for the schedule of rates).

(Copyright © 2018 MMFO)     

Due to the recent discovery of the late medieval mural fragment in the Palm Court Tea Rooms, the Museum of Miniature Found Objects regrets to announce a further delay to its new dining experience, 'Inside the Gastrodome: The Interglacial Palate'. When interviewed by Ida Billinge for The Londoner about Town, Master Chef Alejandra Bacalao said, "I'm super excited about my new menu. It's based on small plates, a mélange of tastes and textures, topped off with some twists unique to the MMFO." When pressed for more details by Billinge, Bacalao replied, "I don't want to give too much away at this stage, but I will say this: Stott's Marvels!"

*Please note, above is a preview of the restored Edwardian stained glass in the Smoking Cubicle.
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Found objects:

= filigree metal heart: 5.59pm, Saturday 18 June 2011, Hackney Town Hall, Mare Street, east London;
= gold buckle: 1.23pm, Tuesday 12 July 2011, St Peter's Gate, Nottingham;

= large filigree teardrop earring: 5.57pm, Monday 25 August 2012, Broad Lane, north London;
= metal earring with raised pattern: 1.07pm, Sunday 10 February 2013, Clarence Road, east London;

= pearl set in twisted silver ring: 7.56pm, Wednesday 15 March 2017, Kitchener Road, east London;
= pink plastic crystal: 7.43am, Friday 9 February 2018, Rathbone Place, central London;
= silver bows inset with diamonds: 10.49am, Wednesday 11 February 2015, Cricketfield Road, east London;
= silver knot inset with crystals: 4.56pm, Monday 11 April 2016, Copenhagen Street, north London;
= small filigree wheel: 9.38am, Thursday 24 December 2015, Aberdeen airport, Aberdeen;
= square metal floral grouping: 7.42pm, Friday 15 April 2016, Preston bus station, Preston.

A thrilling discovery has taken place at the Museum of Miniature Found Objects. Works are currently under way to enlarge the Palm Court Tea Rooms and on Thursday, while removing wallpaper and mortar from the Grade II-listed wall, workmen uncovered a fragment of an image moulded into the plaster below (see above). It is believed to be a portion of a mural of King Henry V, gathered with his court to receive the blessing of Henry Chichele, Archbishop of Canterbury, on the eve of Henry's departure for the Battle of Agincourt. Xavier Grosz-Custigan, art specialist and curator, described the work as being 'of enormous importance and significance'. The wall is the sole remnant of the fourteenth-century palace that formerly stood on the site. The MMFO is working with Gladdest-Boyes-Bedde Architects to incorporate this exciting find into the design for the enlarged tearooms.

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Found objects:

= gold Christmas bauble: 6.07pm, Monday 5 September 2016, top deck of 341 bus, north London;

= brass pipe joint: 6.37pm, Sunday 9 December 2012, Lordship Road, north London;

= purple grape container: 5.37pm, Monday 12 August 2013, Woodberry Down, north London.

On Friday the Museum of Miniature Found Objects received the Vitoria Hair Institute's report on the alleged link between the Anti-Forgery Auto Compactor (AFAC) and hair regrowth, after an incident involving an apprentice curator and the AFAC at the museum. After rigorous testing, the link was found to be genuine. Of the sixty-four bald volunteers, forty-nine were found to be experiencing hair regrowth after being exposed to the AFAC (modified to avoid damage to volunteers' heads). The MMFO is now in consultation with hair specialist Dr Ebbing von Schutter, and further updates will be available shortly.

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Found objects:

= blue plastic label (man-shaped): 11.10am, Thursday 24 November 2011, Holloway Road, north London;

= chess pawn: 1.47pm, Saturday 15 September 2018, Hullasey Farm, Tarlton, Gloucestershire;

= plastic dice: 7.56pm, Monday 14 December 2015, Stroud Green Road, north London.

The Museum of Miniature Found Objects is proud to present a still from Alexander Rodchenko's 1927 film Moscow: Lost and Found. Sadly this film now exists only in descriptions and in this recently rediscovered film still. The film garnered considerable acclaim at the time for its innovative camera technique and theme. The film's narrative is simple: in the summer of 1927 a group of Komsomolets gather daily in Pushkin Square. Their work and studies finished for the day, they begin their ramble through the city. Essentially the film is a hymn to a rapidly changing Moscow, 10 years after the Revolution. The young men and women stroll, flirt and explore their city, and in the course of their wanderings encounter a number of found objects, each of which tells its own story. In honour of Moscow: Lost and Found, the MMFO has renamed the main entrance the Rodchenko Foyer.

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Found objects:

= clear plastic baubles: 2.34pm, Tuesday 14 August 2018, women's changing rooms, Highbury Pool, north London;

= gold plastic cover: 1.38pm, Tuesday 18 September 2018, women's changing rooms, Highbury Pool, north London;

= grey tyre: 11.24am, Thursday 14 July 2011, Old Street, central London;
= metal oval: 9.36am, Thursday 20 October 2011, Woodberry Down, north London;
= silver plastic wheel: 7.24pm, Tuesday 23 April 2013, Woodberry Down, north London.

In an exciting new venture, the Museum of Miniature Found Objects has carried out its first curatorial exchange with the Musée du Bricolage in Bordeaux. The French curators Didier Fardeau, Camille Cambrioleur and Gaspard Legrand have been working with the MMFO's collection over the past month. Drawing on their expertise they have created this thought-provoking installation, Le lèche-vitrine, currently on display in the main foyer. The French team will be leading a series of tours throughout the coming week, examining the MMFO's collection from the perspective of bricolage. Further details and times are available from the Museum Gift Shop.

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Found objects:

= black beads on silver bracelet: 3.32pm, Wednesday 29 June 2016, Granary Square, King’s Cross;

= gold bell: 8.16am, Wednesday 16 March 2016, Lordship Road, north London;
= gold chocolate coin: 11.47am, Wednesday 30 November 2011, Turbine Hall, Tate Modern;
= gold star broach, 11.13am, Wednesday 24 May 2017, Junction Road, north London;
= pearl pins, 6.23pm, Wednesday 18 February 2015, Yoakley Road, north London;
= plastic soldiers: 4.47pm, Wednesday 24 July 2013, Thames Path (south), under Lambeth Bridge;
= red button: 7.58pm, Wednesday October 2nd 2014, Oxford Street, central London;
= red hair bobbles: 9.48am, Wednesday 14 December 2011, Clarence Road, Hackney.

The mysterious reappearance of the Byzantine earring 'The Empress's Tears' continues to puzzle the Museum of Miniature Found Objects. Traces of the same jam (raspberry: Ruby Beauty variety) were found at the main entrance of the museum (pictured). The trail led to the Montague Place entrance of the British Museum. The van Buren XpressWay and west entrance of the MMFO were clean, with no evidence of the jam being found at either point. As the Forensics Team has no jurisdiction within the British Museum, urgent assistance from their counterparts in the British Museum has been requested. Further bulletins will be issued.

The Museum of Miniature Found Objects is delighted to announce the return of the famous Byzantine earring known as 'The Empress's Tears'. This much-loved object was stolen from the museum in 2012 in the course of a violent ram raid, which severely damaged the museum entrance and led to its temporary closure. Mysteriously, the object was found inside a plain brown envelope at the cash desk in the Museum Gift Shop, on Monday morning. The package contained only the earring, though the museum's Forensics Team are investigating the jam smears on the corner of the envelope.

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Found object:

= earring: 10.02pm, Monday 23 July 2012, junction of Downs Park Road and Pembury Road, east London.

The Museum of Miniature Found Objects is delighted to announce the successful completion of a portrait of the miniature cows in pasture in the Great Court, by noted society portraitist, Billy van Buren (no relation). This is in celebration of the success in breeding this miniature herd, to be named Stott's Marvels, in honour of the Victorian entrepreneur, Bartholomew Stott. The portrait's unveiling will take place today at 2 o'clock, in the Marsala Potts Gallery. All are welcome.

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Found objects:
= lead cows: 11.42am, Wednesday 23 May 2012, Junction Road, north London.